HOW WAS BORN THE SENSITIVE ECOEDUCATIONAL APPROACH (TM)
A story of family, neurodiversity, nature, motherhood, love, perseverance, courage and resilience
* I would first like to point out that each person whose story is told here has given their consent to its distribution.
My long and deep reflection on early childhood education originated in my childhood very free and in kind, then at the very beginning of my adolescence with the arrival of a brother with ADHD and autism a little over 30 years ago year. At that time, no need to tell you that there was very little knowledge on this subject. This little hypersensitive being, hyper conscious and hypertonic has transformed our home and our family. So at the age of only three months he had an electroencephalogram to try to find a cause for his differences. The doctor diagnosed him with colic and original spasms unknown and later attention disorder. He took 4 years to communicate and invented his own words, which he preferred to use . He slept very little, cried a lot and exhibited an insatiable appetite for freedom, dangerous explorations and the search for sensations . The school career, strewn with intimidation , was extremely difficult despite remarkable intelligence. Although I did not know it at the time, this that I discovered there was going to become my life mission. There, alongside my mother, I learned about off-piste support, benevolence, a holistic vision of care, homeopathy, medicinal plants, the needs of the child, a different reflection on education, guided by simplicity, instinct and love.
I left home at 17 to take social work training and stand on my own feet. After a few years working in intervention for women victims of violence and women in difficulty , I became a mother and then single mother. I had the extraordinary privilege of giving birth to 4 unique children, brilliant, highly gifted and conscious, hyper creative, hypersensitive and also neurodiversified who have pushed me to surpass myself body, heart, head and soul for more than 22 years today. Without them, the Sensitive Eco-educational Approach would probably not be there. The road was not easy, rather strewn with very big pitfalls and incredible challenges, but true love was there. Deep in my heart.
My first child is a wonderful and beautiful trans boy, born prematurely at 36 weeks, with many hypersensitivities, coordination disorder, attention deficit disorder (ADD), learning disabilities and an anxiety disorder that made her first school experience and the first "formal learning" very difficult. He also lived severe depression in adolescence and still suffers from post traumatic shock syndrome (PTSD) and numerous "triggers". An extremely sensitive, warm, gentle being and concerned about the well-being of everyone. Heavily creative, the difficulties of writing, reading and identity have turned into a finesse incredible of mind, heart and a feather that he shares with the greatest pleasure through stories, each more wonderful than the next. Endowed with intelligence, generosity and a stunning spirit, today he lives in a very organized way, he is always there for others, with a delightfully attentive ear and always thoughtful and profound advice to share.
My second is an angel of kindness and love. Rescued by the ambulance samaritan who made it to our home in less than 2 minutes and insisted on bringing the baby, who had started breathing again, to the hospital. She would stop breathing frequently for the first 7 months of her life, something that happened often and when she fell asleep, and a shrill alarm brought her back to wakefulness. This was followed by hospital stays for pneumonia , asthma and all kinds of unexplained fevers. until she receives, to barely the age of 10 years old, a heavy diagnosis of reflex dystrophy friendly (a psycho-neurological disease that disrupts the functioning of the sympathetic system and therefore of to stress - stress which was unfortunately too much present at that time) who have painfully paralyzed for 4 long months of one leg and subsequently sporadically from the wrists whenever she was under stress, mild or moderate. Despite all this, she took great care of her two little sisters whom she cherished more than anything. Always ready to help, always seeing the first the work and tasks requiring a helping hand that she offered without ever the slightest hesitation. She must have walked quickly with this difficult disease and learned, from the start of his adolescence, to live under a routine of meditation, mindfulness, breathing and with a stable and calm lifestyle. These are the essential conditions to avoid the progression of this disease, in order to find the balance and limit the crises that could really invalidate it in its future.
Then my third child arrived, a pretty little girl anxious temperament and hypersensitive That we have worn, that I breastfed and for which I did the co-sleeping until I was 4 years old. The first few months she slept very little, sometimes less than 4 hours per 24 hours and in very short periods. To help her calm down we had to wrap her very tightly in a long cloth, and walk her around in our arms for hours. She cried a lot still at 2 or 3 years old, corn she was extremely curious, independent and surprisingly self-sufficient. Daily life was a sawtooth waltz between cries of joy and fits, tics and dances, fears and philosophy, the scratches (she scratched and scratched a lot) and breathing, dissociated episodes, yoga, the use of sensory tools , the taking of medicinal plants, artistic or musical creations and the absolutely impressive manifestations of her giftedness. As a teenager, after many hypersensitive years , she courageously began long therapy and began to understand more about why she felt so different from others. A lot of listening and many consultations and evaluations were necessary and she received several diagnoses from professionals concerted around his needs and his suffering: autism spectrum disorder (ASD), obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), complex post-traumatic shock syndrome (SCPT-C) associated with dissociation / derealization disorder, mood disorder, syndrome Tourette (SGT), anxiety disorder with social phobia, sensory modulation disorder, eating disorder and high potential. Many words brought into our lives delicately and with a lot of awareness, taking care to interweave things and not to categorize, in reality, just as many facets of the same soul, the same spirit, the same heart and the same body which have far too much suffered and still suffering. Like what sometimes, the diagnoses are the keys to progress. Precious words to give from meaning to inner chaos, to the impact of the power of the bodily, emotional and psychic feelings experienced, of its history, of its too often silent voice. Words to name the immense lack of sensitivity on the part of those who have not tried to understand, who judged, who did not want to listen, welcome and react to the worry and anxiety so great from a mother and of her chameleon child. Words to validate the inner sufferings and efforts of each, such great efforts, hiding emotions, anxiety, tensions and fears as long as possible and the hold back until you no longer have power. Words to walk and move forward. Words of healing. From light. Hope. Of understanding. An incredibly brilliant child philosopher, like an old witch filled with wisdom and mysteries, knowledge and endowed with a breathtaking intuition and feeling who is also an environmental activist, a piano musician and a multi artist with incredible talent and talent. clear vision.
There came the fourth wonderful daughter, born on a full moon night. Vigorous and stubborn to kind temperament and intelligent, bright, dynamic, soft and tender with a trouble sobbing spasms that made her stop breathing when she injured herself or became upset , causing her to so turn to blue several times a day. An incredibly autonomous child, helpful, who learned everything very quickly, determined and full of will but also suffering from anxiety, different sensitivities, a formal need for order and organization in the immediate environment, of a suspected high potential and sleep disturbance . Flute musician, volunteer in a social inclusion café for 2 years, she held a market to raise funds for children victims of the war in Syria, held a kiosk to raise funds for an orphanage in Cameroon, participated to poetry evenings in front of a hundred adults and much more. It is simply breathtaking.
HOW DID I GET THERE?
How did I manage to forge relationships that would infuse them with an incredibly useful array of tools for navigating this complex world? Deep relationships, filled with emotions, closeness and authentic with each of us them, of mutual and shared trust, a respect that touches every space of our lives, that welcomes, that opens. A effective and caring communication, reassuring, without taboos and sensitive. A constant collaboration filled with motivation, empathy towards others and nature, benevolence ... All without making use of any form of forced control, authority, rigidity or even discipline (well almost!).
I got there with a lot of perseverance, courage, creativity and determination. It was far from an easy road to be a solo mom with a neurodivergent tribe in shared custody. When they were leaving I cried, and I cried again when they came back. I cried when they left for school in the morning, hoping that those of them who hadn't slept for 4 or 5 hours would get on with their day. That those who had had a fit just before leaving, leaving the house in tears, can find the comfort and the joy to find class friends. I wiped away my tears before welcoming the 6 children from my kindergarten with whom I would then spend the day, while waiting for the return of mine. There, in the cubicle at the entrance, I would then welcome the tears of the mothers who, exhausted, out of breath, brought me their hypersensitive and opposing child for another beautiful day in nature. At dinner time, I took a deep breath to add to these 6 little ones our 5 children (mine and the daughter of my spouse at the time) and prepare the dinner that I would serve alone, hoping that the autistic where the hyperactive help me set the table and put away the toys, which they generally liked. I cried in the evening when finally my tribe fell asleep and I collapsed from exhaustion, thinking of the next day that would start again. I gave everything for them as they say. With so much love.
I succeeded in being inspired by luminous pedagogies such as pedagogy by nature, Waldorf, Montessori, Pickler and Frenet, the thought of Krishnamurti, Mathieu Ricard, the Dalai Lama, Shri Aurobindo, Shivananda, Thich Nhat Hanh, Gandhi, Scott Peck, Deepak Chopra and that of my parents, for name only those. There are also anarchist thought, direct democracy, the work of teachers for children in difficulty, studies in yoga, herbalism and mindfulness meditation which also kept me going. Then noting that my tribe had many neurodiversified traits, I went to look for tools by training myself in neuroscience with the RMT to understand how the brain develops and functions and the impact that the neurological reflexes of the child have, the nature and wild movement free in the difficulties they meet. Above all, every day and relentlessly, I remained present with a lot, a lot of sensitivity as the driving force of my relations with each of them and at every moment.
I also created a multitude of sacred spaces: rituals of connection together, of connection within and between them. For example a small candle on the lunch table every morning, a table of an evolving nature, the birthday ritual with the ring, the little messages of love at the bottom of the pockets, treatments like the little oil of courage they received, almost like a baptismal water, on the wrists and temples before going to school and the use of symbolic archetypes: the arrival of the fairies at the summer solstice, the little gnomes of houses that carried messages of conscience and safety or the big elf handcrafted in the style of a giant doll to wait for Christmas. I did homeschooling to each of them when they needed it most, I read them thousands of precious tales and allegories and everyday from morning till night I offered them drinks herbal remedies and cocktails of natural supplements, mother tinctures, homeopathic granules and vitamins to alleviate nervousness, stress, sleep disturbances, anxiety and mood or behavioral difficulties. And that made a huge difference. I fought for a dozen years despite complex shared custody schedules to offer them each a musical training that I considered essential for cognitive and neural development and everyone was able to experience many arts and sports to relax the body and mind and let go of the pressure of everyday life. To succeed in earning a living while remaining present for them, I opened a kindergarten that I managed on my own full time at the same time as I gave training in education and yoga classes to make ends meet. I also ran a green online children's store in addition to home schooling and I encouraged volunteering and humanitarian missions ...
A mission ... of love and sensitivity.
ALSO ACCOMPANY CHILDREN FROM OTHERS FAR FROM THE BEATEN TRAILS
An archipelago of experiences to weave one strand at a time the Sensitive Eco-educational Approach.
This trip not always quiet and very often tumultuous, however, allowed me to meet the great neurodiversity present in children and parents. I quickly discovered that wild movement was essential for the well-being and development of the brain, that sensory stimulation calm down and that nature is not only the best of professors, but the center of existence and the answer to the great evils of our time.
For almost 25 years I have been around a lot of children with profiles that do not fit into what society wants normalize with growth scales, tables of evaluations, examinations, comparisons and the ever greater desire to contain everything in a curve, trying to normalize anything that seems marginal, different or unknown.
Yet it is really diversity that makes an ecosystem strong and healthy. Not monoculture! And neurodiversity is just as important as biodiversity! Besides, why should it be otherwise? It is precisely in what is different that the greatest technological, ideological and artistic advances are hidden, for example! All of those kids diagnosed with something like autism, ADD, hyperactivity, Tourette, dyspraxia, speech disorder, deafness, learning disabilities, or anxiety to name a few, have really shone a thousand fires with their stunning imaginations, their creative ideas in bursts, their talents to conceive plans, their contagious energy, their know-how to organize free games filled with sunshine and their concentration to take care of others. They laughed heartily and displayed a surprising sense of humor, knew and unearthed edible wild plants with their owl eyes, applied to household chores with the greatest care, developed comic book or board game concepts that would not leave any adults indifferent. Some knew how to compose poetry at the age of 5 or even make bread without recipes! But what would have happened if instead of allowing them to get to know each other and discover their gifts, if instead of allowing them to know the natural world around them, I would have put pressure on them to fit into a mold? So that they "listen to me"? So that they obey?
It is therefore with a lot of love and sensitivity that I accompanied these children, each more wonderful than the other, to grow up by learning to connect with themselves, with others and with nature. To learn to love and shine with their differences, while finding calming and effective strategies to their suffering.
It is thanks to all these children and to each of the families who have come to me with a variety of fantastic colors that was woven, one strand at a time, this new Sensitive Eco-educational Approach.
ABOUT ME
“I played outside all the time. I built treehouses on my own with my father's tools until the darkness wrapped up the sun. I paddled lakes and climbed high in the trees to feel like a bird. I grew vegetables, tamed wild animals and could handle fire or walk barefoot in the snow without anyone worrying. My favorite game was to invent villages inspired by the world of the Ewoks where all the children of the world would be educated in the forest and not in concrete classes under neon lights. I believed the world would be a better place if all the children on earth could have this chance.
I myself am one of those beings who are said to be "neurodivergent". I feel different. As a child I was often apart in a group. I am hypersensitive on many levels, hyper invested and gifted in several areas and yet helpless in the face of other things that most people find trivial. My path has been filled with challenges. I also live with several post-traumatic shock, anxiety and other difficulties that I have been working with for many years. Today I am proud of myself. I can tell that I really will well and I want to share my tools so that parents or professionals who support children can also feel good and fulfill their role as well as possible.
"If we want to form a vigorous thought in the child, so that he may later be adapted to the demands of school and of life, we must be careful to follow the path which really leads to this goal, it is that is to say nourish the forces
from which will be born later the faculty of thinking ".